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Skinny dipping freedom! clothes? In the North East of England? Why the hell not. I’ve been dying to do this for AGES. There’s something really naughty and magical about whipping your clothes off and being in the water, but I haven’t done it since I was on holiday abroad many moons ago and was probably as pissed as the proverbial newt. Certainly didn’t think of doing it until the last couple of years, when it seems that outdoor swimmers have an unusual propensity to chuck their clothes off and clamber into the water. These mass events over the New Year etc just aren’t for me, as if there was a rogue drone about you can guarantee that it would be my backside and front bottom which would be snapped and end up doing the rounds on dodgy Internet sites. So I chose my own site to publish my pictures hah!

Summer of 2020 has seen an increase in my confidence in my body, not sure why, maybe it’s the time of year, maybe the Virus With No Name has sent us all barmy and whipping off your clothes seems to be the least of your concerns. One afternoon I went with my husband, son and his friend to a valley about an hour from our house. The boys went upstream to play in the rapids, and I turned to my husband and announced I was going to take my clothes off and have a swim. There had been some walkers on the opposite side of the river earlier on, but nothing other than bland sheep had been seen for a while. I clambered out of my swimming costume, squelched and screeched through the mud and went into the water. It felt amazing!! So free!!! Even warm! Well, compared to the sea anyway. No jellyfish to get stuck in my bits either as a lionsmane sting on your nether regions would nip a little I imagine. I just felt like bursting up and out of the water, like a bizarre Northumbrian River-ness monster, to shout and exclaim my joy! But I didn’t. I had a little swim and then got out and put my clothes back on. The boys came back half an hour later none the wiser, and unless there are some dodgy photos of me, my bag, and my arse, doing the rounds on some weird site I haven’t heard of....I got away with it. Deliciously naughty...bag or no bag...

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